If Elected, I Will Not Serve...

We are about to have a presidential election here in Sri Lanka. There’s something like thirteen candidates, but most people can only name two. While perusing the morning paper the other day, I read about one candidate that if elected, promised to give every Sri Lankan family their own cow. Said cows are to be purchased with his personal fortune. Apparently, he is the founder and scion of a massive herbal medicine empire. (think Ross Perot) I don’t know… “A cow in every pot” just doesn’t sound right to me but it’s probably my own cultural bias at play. The article went on to explain about how cows make milk and how milk is an important part of the daily nutritional needs for children... Enough said. Any excess dairy products could be turned into cheese and curd for the family to sell... No doubt to each other. Good idea. I was wondering, if you suffer from lactose intolerance, maybe you could get a pig or something else instead.

Snatch the ballot from my hoof, Grasshopper...

I’m planning to work as a poll monitor on Election Day. It should be interesting. Apparently visible white/western faces help keep various seditious groups away from their usual intimidation at the polls. We’ll see. So far the run-up to the election has been relatively uneventful. It does depend upon which news source you access. Very often, I’ll be reading the paper and come across something that I believe to be patently untrue. I usually turn to Lino and ask, “Is this the pro UNP newspaper or the SLFP rag? Who are the Buddhist monks siding with again?” It’s very confusing but no less entertaining than any of our recent elections in the US. I have suggested to anyone that will listen that they should allow the state of Florida to vote simply to enhance the amusement value. I think it’s a great idea, since you can never have too many scapegoats. So far there aren’t any takers.