The Bead Shop

Apparently, when the Myanmar contingent left, they took our bandwidth. What’s the world coming to when you can’t trust a ruthless junta leader? I had the worst time logging on and downloading any pictures or videos. Clearly it was my punishment for kvetching about the jack-booted thugs in the lobby. One thing I wanted to relate was a visit to a bead shop in Wellawatte. My friend Jennifer makes amazing jewelry and home furnishings with beads and is a true artist. I mentioned to Lino that I wanted to bring home some unique glass beads for her and she took me to the coolest bead shop in the world. Full disclosure: Beads do nothing for me. Generally speaking, they have to be turned into something beautiful for me to appreciate them in any way. That said, this place was amazing! The size of a large walk-in closet, it was stacked to the rafters with small 2x4x6 inch clear boxes and bags filled with every kind of bead and sequin one can imagine. There was a path about eight inches wide on the floor due to all the sacks of beads stacked along the edges. I found several types of beads and bought a hundred grams each of four different kinds for the whopping total of about $4.50. The pictures truly don’t do it justice.

Human rights violators need to stick together

I had an interesting experience the other day, apparently the junta leader of Myanmar, general Than Shwe, was here. By “here” I mean at my hotel, attending a reception in his honor. My tuk-tuk driver, Janaka, sort of accidentally dropped me off in the middle of a protest. It took a little bit of doing and no small amount of miming to convince the police officers and military security that I really am a guest at the hotel. Accompanied as I was, by my highly suspicious backpack, it had to go through the portable x-ray machine and I through the metal detectors to even get into the lobby. Once in the lobby, I was set upon by even more intimidating security personnel. I got the hotel types to vouch for me and once I got to the room, didn’t stick my head out until I knew the Myanmar contingent was gone…from the country.
I’ve been having such a good time with the guys, I hate to leave. I brought a lot of books, games and puzzles with me and the boys have really enjoyed them. Special thanks to Anne Hellman, who sent me a ton of prepublication kids books and blads from her sales kits. They were a big hit. I’ll try to post some pictures here.




The card project is in full swing and we’re working like mad to get the cards I need to take home completed.

Checkpoint Fever or, You Don't Look Tamil...

Pardon me while I vent...Apparently, there are suicide bombers of the Tamil persuasion still at large in and around Colombo. As a result, there are military checkpoints everywhere. Lino and I got stopped at one that was literally within sight of the last one! I’ve now set a new personal best yesterday when I was stopped at no fewer than seven checkpoints on my way to drop my laundry at the fluff and fold in Borella. I have clearly never seriously considered the volatility of my dirty laundry until now. You see, it was jammed into my backpack on the seat next to me in the tuk-tuk and as such, looked highly suspicious. The military guys at the checkpoints are very emboldened when I’m out alone. (why not, they’re the ones with the automatic weapons, all I can do is pelt them with dirty socks) I was close to the breaking point toward the end of the day when I was stopped by an Air Force enlisted man. Our conversation went something like this:
He: Where from?
Me: U.S.A.
He: Going?
Me: Wellewatta, Galle Rd & Dharmarama temple
He: You………BigFatGirl! (always said with a big smile)
Me: Yes, But your ugly, stupid and rude and I can diet.
He: Huh?

Case closed. Sometimes when they say something like this, I like to act all surprised. You know, like “Holy crap….I’m fat? I had no idea! Thank you, Oh keen observer of the human condition” Or, “Yes, if you look closely, you’ll see that I’m fat in my passport picture as well, butthead.”

Project Cupcake Teatime

Is it ever good to be back in Colombo! My first two days here were equally divided between catching up on my sleep and fun, games and art workshops at the orphanage. This visit ties up a few very compartmentalized parts of my life. Some time ago, I started working with a terrific organization called Tealightful Treasures back in my home town of Rochester, NY. They are an incredibly successful home party business devoted to something I’ve subscribed to for years: the healing and calming influence of tea in our busy lives. Charlene and Eric Phillips have done much more than start an amazing home based direct sales business. I connected with them through a mutual friend only a few years into their venture and several months after my initial extended trip to Sri Lanka. Even then, with growing pains that would soon force them into a much larger office and warehouse space in Rochester, Charlene approached me about finding a way to help fundraise for the Wellewatte Boy’s Home. Even as a fledgling company, they had set their sights on doing good while doing well. We kicked around a few ideas and after a bit of drifting on my part in my personal and professional life, we revisited the idea.
Hot Tea and Hugs was born! Charlene would custom blend four new (Ceylon based) teas for her consultants to feature and they would be packaged with labels made from the amazing artwork done by the boys.
This project brings me to an additional compartment of my life, the Sri Lanka Card Project. (Right now, this will take you to a blog that’s not quite up to date but will soon be replaced with a full fledged website) You can find them on Facebook by searching:
Christmas Cards - Spend a bit more to help a lot more
On the Facebook site there are a number of current pictures of the last couple of days at the Boy’s Home. Emma Allen is the mad genius behind keeping the card project going. Those of you who read this blog from the beginning will remember when Emma first showed up in Sri Lanka. She and Lino Kao continue to work with the orphanage and have managed to raise a lot of money for the Boy’s Home and several other groups in need.
Emma and Lino ran an art workshop with the boys many months ago with the theme: What I want to be when I grow up. There were so many gorgeous pictures that it was difficult for Charlene to select only four. The drawings in turn inspired the tea blends she created and her husband Eric, a packaging expert, turned the artwork into labels for the tea. As Emma would say, “Brilliant!”
I’ve commissioned some holiday cards for Charlene and Eric and we’re all hard at work on them so I can present them upon my return. I don’t know if I remember how to include pictures on the blog, but I’ll give it the old college try.

You can learn to hate airtravel in less than a day.

As previously noted on Facebook, the flight from JFK to Dubai was spent trying desperately to sleep while seated next to an extremely fidgety teenager. If they make dogs fly in carriers in the cargo hold, why can’t we do the same thing with teenagers? This started out as a sort of rhetorical question in my mind until somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, it occurred to me that the PETA people would never allow the torture of those caged animals in the cargo bay by a bunch of teenagers…drugged or not… the teenagers that is.
Then there is dad. For reasons still unknown to me, he was compelled to explain to his spawn, in its entirety, the minutiae of air travel. In a booming voice…in both English and Farsi. I seriously wanted to throttle this guy but was so sleep deprived my motor control was at an all time low. Even the flight attendants looked on with barely disguised pity. That’s the kind of 12 hour flight that can actually make you look forward to a 7 hour layover in Dubai.
Most of the layover was spent in a sports bar trying to figure out who won the World Series game on Wednesday night. No one knew. Instead, I was treated to hour after hour of cricket, a game I have now formally given up all hope of ever understanding.
The flight to Colombo was much shorter (5 hours) and quieter, even though the obligatory screaming baby was only a few rows ahead of me. I was actually able to stretch out for a couple of quick power naps.
Finally, I’m in Colombo. Well Negombo really, it’s still a 30 minute ride to Colombo proper. So I’m standing in line at immigration thinking, “Oh yeah! I remember this! It’s REALLY hot here!” I immediately broke out in the familiar full body sweat. I like what they’ve done with the place, especially the newish signs that say: “Possession of Illegal Drugs is Punishable by Death.” This from the ministry of “we are so not f%$#ing kidding, have a nice day.”

Heading out to Sri Lanka again...

...but just for a couple of weeks.
I'm embarrassed to admit it took me about an hour to figure out how to log into my blogger account. Yes, it's been that long. Since last I wrote, it's been a very interesting couple of years caring for my mom as she's coping with Alzheimer's. When she was formally diagnosed, she and I agreed that we would deal with it with the utmost candor, humor and honesty. She gets frustrated when she can't remember something, says she "feels stupid". Yo! It's a disease! Cut yourself some slack, wouldja? I must say, we speak to each other in a lot of nonsequiturs and I often tease her that I know what she's thinking before she thinks it. Some of our exchanges remind me of discussions we used to have during my recreational drug use days in the seventies...without the good parts. Paybacks really are a bitch.
So here's the question, does anyone even read blogs anymore? With all the social networking going isn't blogging sort of redundant? Until I fully understand the vagaries of facebook, I'll continue to put stuff here. No, it's not because I just wasted an hour I'll never get back trying to remember my log on and password!

Long time no hear from....

My bad.
I’m hanging with my mom in Brockport pretty much sorting out her finances; taking care of her and the house. I’ve been writing stuff all along for the blog, but dumping it into the draft part of blogger until I could add photos. There’s a lot that has happened since I last updated and downloaded as well as some wonderful pics to add from the Habitat build in Sri Lanka.

It's rewarding to volunteer for people you know...

Upon my return to the U.S., I was finally able to access my Outlook email account. I found several messages from my pal Ann Hellman. My old friend and mentor from my Random House days, Alice Kesterson had been battling colon cancer since early spring and Ann was keeping several of us up to date on the her progress. This was rather a shock since Alice has always been one of the healthiest people I ever knew. She and her husband Randy are vegetarians and very health conscious. They run a lovely Bed and Breakfast in Snow Hill, Maryland. It’s a historic old home called Chanceford Hall. Randy is an architect and since leaving Random House, Alice has opened a charming and eclectic bookstore on the main drag called simply “Alice”. Needless to say, they are pretty busy people. Ann let me know that since Alice had started chemo and radiation, many of the local townsfolk had pitched in to help keep the store up and running in her absence. Random House chums like Jane O’Boyle and Ann had already spent weeks at time in Snow Hill helping with the bookstore and getting Alice to various appointments. I asked Ann if it would be helpful for me to come down for a week to assist since I was sort of between volunteer gigs at the moment. Randy called me back and said come on down, we’ll take all the help we can get. I showed up in early September and ended up staying into early January. On a camping trip in Canada, left to right in back: Joanne "Nursie" Fagan, Randy Ifft, Todd "the bodd" Stauring, Diane, (then Ader's finacee), John Ader, John "the goon" Fagan, Alice Kesterson and Jennifer "the lady" Petschke. Down front: Gina Maida, Me and Candice Wells. I think this is around 1993ish. Looking good for a bunch of people with tent head.

The Habitat Build and a Visit to Colombo

The Dambulla Habitat Crew

Back row: Me; Alex; Edwin & Ray

Seated: Laura; Katie;Roshael; Natalie & Marc

In front: Dave & Joanne

The Habitat for Humanity build in Dambulla was very rewarding. I get to add masonry work to my skill set. The group was a ton of fun and we all worked very hard at finishing four homes. I can safely say that I have never been that dirty in my entire life (and I grew up on a farm)

Roshael and I wetting bricks for the masons, they put planks down
at the base of the wall to catch all the excess mortar and there is absolutely no waste of materials of any kind. Roshael and Edwin at tea time (obviously the morning one since they are still relatively clean) Ray, Alex and Marc finished the home they were working on so started digging the hole for the outhouse. Yes, they took the prize for dirtiest duds everyday.

Our littlest helper (I love this picture)

Our chief mason, VJ, atop an incredibly suspect scaffolding arrangement. This was our last day on site and I thought I couldn't be more amazed. Then I watched VJ whack off angled chunks of brick to make the perfectly straight roof line...incredible!

We're all at the closing ceremony with VJ and our homeowners and their two kids. These guys are farmers and they had taken off two weeks from the fields to work with us on their home. They worked so hard and this was a very emotional day for all of us.

I had scheduled an extra week in Colombo after the build and had a fabulous time showing Joanne, Laura and Edwin around a little bit. They came with me to the Wellawatte boys’ home and got to meet the gang. They’d had a visit from a doctor a couple of days earlier and he had left about 18 prescriptions for the boys. It was for the usual kid stuff, antibiotics, anti fungal creams, anti inflammatory and some cough syrups. I got some rupees from the bank and we split up to several pharmacies to get them filled.

My friend Laxman drew a picture of the two of us.

I stayed with my excellent friend Lino at her apartment and she even got some beautifully ripe rambutan for me. I love those spiny little fruits! Laura had a pretty good idea of the stuff she wanted to see in and I think we got to everything on her list.

Laura perusing the menu at Helga's Folly.
We caught up with Dani and a friend at Beach Wadiya for a fabulous seafood meal. One of my favorite places to eat in Colombo, there are no menus, they simply come to the table and tell you, “Here’s what we caught today and here’s how we’re cooking it.” Amazing food and great company right on the beach!

Before I left for the build, I gave Roy some money to get some stuff done to the new tuk-tuk. They are pretty much sold stripped and he needed to get a headliner for the inside as well as some side curtains for when it rains. He spent a little bit on some non essentials like wheel covers, a funky dashboard and seat covers. I was glad to see he had customized it to his liking and he even bought a nice pair of slacks and button down shirt. I didn’t even recognize him when he came to fetch me from Negombo.

Jungle Fever

Oy...It's hot...and buggy...and humid. We all got shipped into the internet cafe tonight because apparently there was some kind of bomb or claymore attack in Jaffna within the last few days. There's no need to worry about us since we are so tucked away in the countryside that I don't even know how our driver finds our worksites everyday...
Same sweltering internet cafe, and there are cold beers in the van so toodles for now.

It's a jungle out there...

Seriously! I'm on this two week build with Habitat for Humanity, and I am so not kidding when I tell you that we are in the middle of the jungle. It's only been two days so far and my work gloves are completely worn out and I have a blister on my thumb. The team is great, the only problem is there are a lot of younger people and frankly they have a lot more stamina. I can barely keep up with them and am about to stop trying. We are exhausted, but having a ball. I'd write more, but I'm inside a sweltering internet cafe and can't stand it any longer...
later!

The Return of the International Dilettante

So I’m back in Sri Lanka and I’m happy to report that it’s still hot. My first two nights I spent with the WSG (Women’s Support Group) My friend Maria Kenney is a founding mother of the group and they have a place in Colombo that houses their offices and meeting rooms. There is also a bedroom for interns, volunteers, women in crisis and the occasional like-minded international dilettante. In a culture where women are largely second class citizens, there is a real need for the services the WSG provides.
As usual, my first actual 12 hours in Sri Lanka was spent napping interrupted only by periodic bathroom breaks. My friend Lino is moving to a new apartment very near the WSG house and I was very little help, what with nodding off at the drop of a hat.
On my second day here, Janaka and I tracked down my faithful Sri Lankan sidekick and trishaw driver, Roy. It was a very happy reunion made happier when I told him my mom and I (with a little help from Bob Boozer) were buying him his own trishaw. Roy was absolutely pole-axed and couldn’t believe what Lino was translating to him.
Roy has been leasing a trishaw for about 200 rupees a day. He has to drive quite a few fares everyday to cover that and the cost of gas. Having his own trishaw immediately puts 200 rupees back in his pocket every day and he could actually start making a good living as well as helping to support his mom and dad as they get older.
The very next morning, Roy picked me up and we went to the dealership. We told them we were buying a trishaw; picked a color; got the total and left for the local HSBC for the money. In an amazingly easy transaction, the first of it’s kind for me in Sri Lanka, I secured three lahk and one of the armed guards escorted me back to Roy and the trishaw. A lahk is 100,000.00 rupees and the highest denomination of paper currency in Sri Lanka is the 1,000 rupee note. Suffice it to say, this was a pretty huge couple of bricks of currency.
Roy wanted a red tuk-tuk, but he would have had to wait until the next day for delivery. He changed his mind and got the blue tuk-tuk because he wanted to drive me around in it that day. Let me just say the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles could take a few clues from these guys. From the moment we first walked in to the dealership to the moment we drove away in the new blue trishaw, was a little over two hours. (Most of which was spent in dealer prep time) They handled the plates, registration, insurance everything …amazing…more later.

Oh yeah...the blog...

So I’m pretty sure no one is reading this anymore, which works out nicely since I just need to vent. Coming home and being confronted with all the things I didn’t get rid of when I left for Sri Lanka is rather daunting. As I stared into my closet, I was reminded of my friend Deana Hmoud. Upon returning to England, she was reunited with all the apparel left behind and screamed, “No one needs this many @#%&ing clothes.” We pretty much all lived in a few tee-shirts and several pairs of jeans and shorts for quite a long time. When Dani went to England to apply for her work visa in Sri Lanka, she caught up with Chris in Liverpool. Upon her return I asked her, “So…what does Chris look like in different clothes?” She knew exactly what I was talking about and said she was really startled because he looked like such a grown-up. The jury is still out on whether or not that is a good thing.
It’s great to hang with my mom. I got a good laugh when I realized that for the whole time I was away, she didn’t know how to work the phone I left her. She kept kvetching about how it would only call my friend Sue, or on rare occasions, Beth or Tammy, the fiancées of two of my brothers. As it happens, you need to dial the number THEN press the call button. If you press the call button first, you basically get either the last number called or my old speed dials and hilarity ensues.
My mom is going to kill me for telling this story, but I have to. Anyone that knows her is aware that she always goes out of the house looking like a million bucks. One day, we were putting some stuff in the storage area under the eaves. She had a bunch of bungee cords around her neck that she was using to bundle up some foam padding and comforters. She used them all except one. Later that day, she had to go to the mall to return a sweater. When she got back, she still had the bungee around her neck and I asked her if anyone inquired as to where she had gotten that chic little bungee cord she was wearing. She was mortified. I laughed my ass off.

I just started taking a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course online. It’s amazing how difficult it is to focus on the basic elements of your own language. Especially since I’ve pretty much taken them for granted since I learned to speak and write. Once I complete the course, I plan to take an additional course in teaching business English. Even though I don’t consider myself a business person, I am able to speak it with some degree of fluency as a result of selling college textbooks for five years. Granted, it’s sort of like Esperanto or pig latin, but I think I can get by. (thanks Prentice Hall…) As my goal is to continue traveling and volunteering, it would be good to subsidize my endeavors with a job teaching English.
Here are the burning questions of the moment…why am I so irritated with the problems of people around me? It’s entirely too pat to say, “Compared to what we were dealing with in Sri Lanka, these difficulties are all so inconsequential.” True or not, it sounds so arrogant and dismissive but I can’t help but feel that way. I never want to be the person that runs around saying, “You think you’ve got problems…let me tell you about blahblahblah…” I just have a real shortage of patience right now and a sincere need for fewer expectations from those people around me. If you’re unhappy with your life, then change it; you want a meaningful relationship with someone in the same geographic area? Find someone that’s already there. You want more money? Then get another job and/or a better one. Hold the door for someone you don’t know; be kind to small children and animals and wipe your feet. Feel free to give me your advice, just don’t get pissy if I don’t pay it any mind.

Dan & Jon with their new shirts...each of their dads has "jersey envy".

Home Again...

My Godson Dan, looking less than pleased with having his picture taken.

Have I mentioned lately how cold it is here? Well, it is. You can tell when you are in Rochester in the winter, because every bit of moisture in your skin is sucked out upon arrival. I made it home late Friday night when amazingly enough, all six flights went completely without incident. My nephew Jonathan made a gorgeous sign welcoming me home. He’s da bomb! It’s really great to be home. I went to see my friend Jennifer to pick up my pups. Harvey is down to his fighting weight after his extended stay at the Brighton fat camp. Next time, I’m sending them to Sri Lanka and asking Jen to look after me.
Sue and Dave Mayne had a lovely party on Saturday. I think the best part was the fact that Erik, Dan and Bridget didn’t know I was home yet when they walked in the door and saw me. Boy, were they surprised! I’m adjusting…it was a little spooky riding in the car on the right side of the road again. I also made my mom have lunch at the Greek restaurant and Zwiegles hot dogs for dinner. All my nieces and nephews were very concerned as to whether or not I would have time to make some Christmas cookies. I’ve got that covered! The gang came over today to help decorate and we had a blast.
I need to connect with the gang in Sri Lanka regarding some of the unfinished projects, but I know they are all wrapped up right now in throwing a generic holiday party at the Wellawatte orphanage. I wish I could be there with them, but I kicked in a few bucks so they could have a really fun time with the boys. Kenney called me on Sunday night at 4:00 in the morning. I’m not exactly sure what we talked about after I clarified the time difference. He rationalized that this is the time of day he always calls Simone…but she’s in Australia…not the U.S. I think it was something about his Australian spousal visa to join Simone, but I’m not sure. I hope he emails or calls back again soon to talk to me when I’m awake. Happy Holidays to everyone and please be thankful for all the wonderful things in your life, I know I am.

Signing off from Sri Lanka

My last day in country was great. I went to the pump place to torture them one last time, we finally have a working pump down in Tissa. Just think, it only took THE WHOLE TIME I WAS HERE! Picked up the last of my stuff at the fluff and fold; spread-sheeted some receipts for the greeting card project; consoled Roy because I was leaving (I gave him a really cool Swiss Army knife so he could fix his own trishaw instead of relying on me) I taught some of the new guys the fine art of balloon sculpture; had a lampraise for lunch, visited my friends at the orphanage one last time and just when you think it couldn’t get any better, the landlord finally replaced the porch light…after six months of it being burned out. I got some very nice cards from all my friends and I can tell you for sure, I’m really going to miss them all.

A Few of My Favorite Things...Part Deux

Just a few more fav things...

Our van driver sporting one of the balloon halos from our early days here in Colombo. Once I taught the volunteers to make animals and such from the long balloons, we participated in an aggressive campaign of “Drive-by Ballooning” We would stop next to small children, drivers and people crammed on buses; hand them a balloon sculpture and speed away. Thus making the world a better place one balloon at a time…

This was an offering left at the temple in Wellawatta. I thought it was pretty cool to see where coconut trees come from…

Atop every unfinished building, there is a scarecrow type of dummy strung up. Apparently, this keeps the evil spirits away from the structure while it is being built.

Alex very patiently waited and waited, but got a terrific shot of this lizard… it’s so amazing it looks surreal.

Alex also took this one…Got Crabs?
Hanging with the elephants.